The first part of this recipe requires a bit of planning. You're going to need 3 cups of Maker's 46, 2 cups of coffee, and a clean mason jar large enough to hold both. Add the bourbon and whole coffee beans to the jar, seal it, and store it in a cool place. The infusion will be ready in a day but you can let it sit for up to three days. Just remember to shake it periodically.

When the bourbon is finished infusing, strain out the coffee, reserving the booze, of course. FACT: Sure, eggnog is as cozy as a damn Snuggie but don't let this holiday staple fool ya. In 1826, this tasty beverage, along with lots of whiskey, led to a full blown riot at West Point, where 70 cadets were implicated and 20 of them court martialed. It is aptly named the eggnog riot. Yes, eggnog is that good.

Crack the 6 eggs into a large mixing bowl and whisk them until well beaten. Add in the white sugar and using a hand beater, beat the sugar and egg mixture until it's a pale yellow. You can also do this by hand with a whisk, that is, if you're a masochist. And if you are... call me.

In a separate bowl, beat the quart of cream until it thickens. No stiff peaks. You aren't making whipped cream here. But this is where the egg nog gets its heft. Also, why does "stiff peaks" always sound dirty?

Using one more bowl (I hope you have a dishwasher), whisk together the 2 cups milk and 1/4 cup brown sugar until the sugar is fully dissolved.

Combine all ingredients in a large punch bowl, mixing just enough to combine.

Serve with freshly grated nutmeg.

Enjoy!